“Seriously though, I take back everything I said about the prequel trilogy.
 
At least those movies had some effort put into them, this one lacks absolutely everything! There is no energy, there is no love, there is no interest, there is nothing to keep this movie going! It’s the longest demonstration of the word “inertia” I have ever seen in a film! It’s so bad not even Bea Arthur can save it, that’s how terrible it is.
 
We’ve found the lowest common denominator in the Star Wars franchise. A Holiday Special so bad even George Lucas himself is personally ashamed of it. If you want to find out what it’s like to be trapped inside a sensory deprivation tank while getting Wookie noises yelled in your ears, then look no further. This is your movie. Everyone else, avoid it!
 
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have three Fluffy Ponies in my booth that need to be relocated. Perhaps I could ask the Empire for assistance.”
 
“Featuring: A bunch of FlufflePuffs as Chewbacca’s Family, and Pirate Dash as Han Solo.”