Cadance: “Now don’t you move, little deuce…if I miss this shot, it’s Off with your Head1, heehee!” 😊
FeatherTrap: gulp! “Y-Y-Yes M-Mistress-ah! I-i-I m-mean your M-M-Majesty~!!” D=>
Cadance: “Oh, do quit shaking like a leaf, will you dear? Keep that up and you’ll loose your balance…and you wouldn’t like what will happen to you if you do that, wouldn’t you?” 😛
Shining Armor: “Oh Celestia, she’s so hoooooooooot when she’s like this…” O/////O
Cadance: “Same to you, card-boy” 😉
Shining Armor: “Mmmmmphf!!!” >/////<
Cadance: “What can I say darling? It’s a good look for you! Maybe I should just leave you like this permanently, would you like that?” blows a kiss 😘
Shining Armor: “For you? I can be anything your heart desires, hun-I mean, Your Majesty!!” O/////O
Elsewhere deep in the Queen's Castle, there is a secret, magically sealed room full near to bursting of portal rings each supporting and restraining the magically-disembodied penises of every card soldier in the Queendom. At that very moment in this secluded chamber, Shining Armor's own magically-disembodied (and yet technically still attached thanks to the wonders of portals) cock stiffens and starts to twitch eagerly, the feeling creating a phantom boner that makes him moan softly
FeatherTrap: “Nn-nnnnnnngh…f-f-feel d-dizzy…p-please take the shot, p-please…” 3X>
Cadance: “Hush sissy-deuce! One more word out of you and you’ll squeal off your head2, heehee!” 😏
1) Since Cadance enjoys a more lighthearted and kinky version of the Wonderland Fantasy, the famous “Off with his Head!” expression has some very different connotations in this context. None of them involve death/execution. X3
2) One of the aforementioned connotations involves having the punished card soldier having their ankles locked in the stocks and being mercilessly tickle tortured so they can “Laugh off their Heads” (or “Loose the Heads” in the sense of going crazy) by having their feet painted red with brushes. This form of punishment is referred to in the Hearts Queendom as “Painting the Roseies Red”, named for a particularly well known scene from the original story and the symbolic gesture of having one’s “Rosey little feetsies” painted red, to borrow their alicorn queen’s own terminology. ^^
So…I guess you all demand an explanation for this right about now huh? Especially since your first reaction upon seeing the thumbnail was probably: “uh wat?” and that sense of confusion probably hasn’t cleared up by now has it?
Very appropriate for a Wonderland themed piece, without doubt! XD
To be honest, when this project idea started it was just a silly little thing that came to my mind that I wanted to see…there was no story, no dialogue for it, just a silly visual and some light Featherabuse as usual. <:3
Then my brain did a thing, and now there’s LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE for it, enjoy the start of the FIFTY-THREE PART SERIES, INCLUDING VIDEO GAME SPIN-OFFS MADE BY SCOTT CAW-
Okay okay! I’ll explain what’s going on in the scene, please put the weapons down…I was joking about the video game spin-offs. For now. XP
So there’s a character I made once who for reasons I’ll explain when I get to making a reference vector for him, has his own little demiplane of existence inside the confines of a snowglobe enchanted via a deal with Discord…yes he was around when Discord was out and about, he’s from the pre-equestria era. Within the snowglobe is an entire vast island continent surrounded by sea that stretches to the enchanted glass borders of the globe. Inside his realm, all the laws of reality bend to his will, making him a god inside of it which he has abused to create a world for himself and…well I’ll get to that later, the point is: demiplane of existence, belongs to him, within it’s confines he is such a potent reality warper that he is basically an omnipotent god…which is how he’s still alive despite being over a thousand years old: when you can alter or freeze the biological age of any lifeform in your plane, you can basically live forever.
To bring this little tangent back to the point of this picture: this piece is set in something very similar in concept. A demiplane created for Princess Cadance (most likely created inside a little music box or a diorama) and within it’s boundaries she is a godlike reality warper where everything from the fundamental universal laws to the substance of matter can be changed to fit her whims. But unlike the previous story with the sorcerer god-king, she’s just using it to enjoy a little vacation from the responsibilities of her station…well, a vacation for her, and the few thousand or more stallions she brought along with her to help her live out some of her most unusual kinky fantasies. ^^
To start off with, she’s made her realm into a little recreation of Wonderland with herself in the role of the Queen of Hearts, and the other stallions (save one) all turned into the various Heart and Spade Card Soldiers! Of course it’s not quite the same as the story…for one she doesn’t play a canonically accurate version of the Queen, since the character is just an obnoxious, selfish, rude and violently insane psychopath who orders her own subjects to be killed whenever she’s slightly inconvenienced or bored. XC
And that’s not really her style, so instead she’s decided that in her fantasy, the Queen of Hearts is a more playfully domineering ruler, who punishes her card soldiers in more kinky and fun ways. “Off with his Head!” has very different connotations in her Wonderland.
Usually it means “(succing) off his head” (as in penis milking) >//w//<
If you’re wondering how these card ponies still have working penises…I’m surprised you were willing to read this much and not pick up on the fact I mentioned portal rings in the opening dialogue box. But yes, portal rings are involved, so their cocks didn’t get polymorphed into a flat card like the rest of them. They are still attached and functional though…just magically relocated off their bodies. <X3
I was actually only half-joking about the series part, I doubt there will be Fifty-Three whole entries but I’ve already got another piece in this canon being worked on and at least a few more ideas in mind to come! So I hope you all enjoy this very silly idea I had…
Poor Feather, he’s trying his hardest. Just take the damn shot already before he tumbles over! XD
Art is by the talented and kind:
Wigmania, thank you so much for your hard work, despite the series of unfortunate redrafts, goofs and other complications in the process of bringing this piece to life! ^ ^