Image imported from derpibooru 
Original Description:
 
 
The world of chaos rippled as its master and creator returned to it, waves of change spreading out from where he appeared with a ‘pop’.
 
He was uncharacteristically quiet, immediately stalking across the not-quite ground; his shoulders tense, his gait twitchy as he hurried, faster and faster, across the landscape.
 
Until he reached a pond, where he finally stopped, abruptly. It was surrounded by giant neutrons and protons which stretched up towards the plaid patterned ocean above. The pond was lined with the concept of music and filled with silky smooth pigeon milk, which he sank down into with a sigh. A few antlers swam by, almost colliding with his long tail as it floated on the surface.
 
Once he was comfortable he turned to Discord, seated next to him. “Fluttershy is upset.”
 
Discord nodded wisely. “Yes, I know. It’s unacceptable that my good friend has to go through such hardships with procreation.”
 
A smoothie of sand and sunshine came floating by, so Discord snatched it from the air absentmindedly. “Well. She’s wanting to adopt, so does that count as procreation? I can never quite get the whole… taking care of something smaller and more stupid, but I can at least see some merit if it’s a smaller version of yourself.”
 
“I mean, I take care of Fluttershy, and she’s not a version of me.”
 
“…Maybe family is just a type of friendship then? She desires a friendship with something smaller and stupider?”
 
“Well, no, she already has her animals…”
 
Discord sat in silence for a while, pondering this deeply. The pond obediently shifted to be bottomless to fit with the pun.
 
“I think I’m getting sidetracked.” He took a bite of the smoothie. “Regardless of why, she wants a small stupid creature to care for until it’s less small and stupid.”
 
“And she deserves it! Much more than other ponies this ‘agency’ gives babies to!” crowed Discord. Discord and Discord nodded in agreement.
 
“So can’t I just take one and give it to her? They probably have more than they need anyway, they won’t even notice if I borrow one.”
 
“Hmm… wait.” Discord pulled out a long parchment, which rolled and bounced out over the pond. Discord took the opportunity to place the rest of his smoothie on it. “It says right here…”
 
He turned it around and pointed at a section. “…that I’m not allowed to take foals anywhere without their guardians’ permission. Or to feed them anything…”
 
Discord leaned over and drew a crude Celestia on the back of the parchment, as Discord brought it closer to read it.
 
“…or give them anything, or place anything on or near them…”
 
He gave her a crown made of cake and a very impressive moustache made of frosting.
 
“… and not change their guardians by twisting time or space or papers or threats…”
 
Discord finished his masterpiece by giving her a PBn’J sammich dress and snapped his talons. In a flash, the art had been transferred from the paper onto the side of canterlot castle; and made larger of course, so everyone in Canterlot could appreciate its gloriousness. “Yes, yes, I get the idea. ‘Nono’ on stealing children.”
 
“So it’s simple then,” Discord piped up.
 
Discord turned to himself with a frown. Raised an eyebrow and made a go-on motion with his talon.
 
Discord gave him a flat look. “I just ask some guardians to give their child to her, no taking or threatening or anything. I’m sure someone will be happy to not have to deal with a snotty squealing little potato of a creature. I can even give them some smaller magic in return! Who’s gonna say no to a patch of polka-dancing boysenberries over a kid?”
 
Discord sat stunned for a few seconds, berating himself for not having been the one to think about it, before starting to clap at the genius. Discord, Discord and Discord followed suit. Applesauce filled the pond, along with some whistles and a dog bark.
 
Discord stood up and bowed with a flourish. “I’ll go then. Au reservoir, gentlechaoscreatures.”
 
He flashed out of existence, a swarm of bees appearing in his stead.
 
Discord sank down until his ears heard nothing but apples, relieved that he’d solved the issue. Fluttershy would be so happy when he gave her–
 
“NOONE!”
 
Discord was back. He was fuming, making the pond boil around him. “Not a single stupid little sapient wanted to give me their child!”
 
Discord shared a glance with himself. “Did I try…”
 
“YES! I even offered them my toenail-clippings! Don’t they know the kind of magic they could do with that??”
 
Discord offered the rest of the smoothie, and Discord angrily slurped it down.
 
“It’s probably for the best,” Discord sighed. He held out the parchment again. “Says here I can’t bribe ponies with major chaos without the permission of one of the princesseseseses–”
 
“What if…” came a measured voice from further down the pond. “Just an idea here, me…”
 
Discord rolled his eyes, which skipped across the water until they stopped in front of Discord, glaring up at him. “Yes? Spit it out, me.”
 
“Well, that’s just rude.” Discord grabbed the eyes and popped them into his mouth. While chewing, he continued. ”I used to make a lot of combined creatures, didn’t I? Back in the… before days, no?”
 
Discord gasped, and heard Discord choke on his smoothie until Discord had to pound his back. The eyeballs were spit out and landed in Discords empty sockets again. He blinked and twisted them around until they were trained on Discord, narrowing.
 
“I thought I agreed to never speak of that again.”
 
“I’m not suggesting we literally take pieces of Fluttershy and her… companion?” Discord paused, before adding in a mumble” …Though, it would be satisfying to remove that beak. So much yammering on and on…”
 
Discord coughed up a cloud of impatience.
 
“Fantasies aside. I can make new creatures from other creatures. Let’s just… make her a baby!”
 
Discord picked at his tooth as he thought about this. “How, exactly? I’ve never made something alive from other creatures without using pieces of them.”
 
Next to him, Discord grabbed his antler and opened the top of his head; out of the empty hole, a dark cloud floated out, rumbling and sparking lightning across its surface. It settled in the center of the disco of Discords, who all leaned forwards to examine it.
 
“I’ve heard Twililydephia mention this is a good exercise for new ideas. Apparently I should just… tell this thing all my ideas without any, ahem, ‘internal critique’.”
 
“The moon, but a plaid decahedron.”
 
“Poppersnicker jellycats”
 
“これは何と言っていますか”
 
“مون کي اها ٻولي نه ايندي آهي، معاف ڪجو”
 
“Enligt alla kända lagar kring flygning, så finns det inget sätt att ett bi skulle kunna flyga. Dess vingar är för små för att få dess feta lilla kropp upp från marken. Biet flyger självklart ändå. För bin bryr sig inte–”
 
Discord swatted the cloud away. “O-kay! I think I’m missing the point!”
 
“Look, let’s not make it too complicated.” Discord grabbed some pieces of the cloud fluff drifting towards him. ” Meat-creatures constantly mix themselves up with others to make babies; I know I can mix creatures up to make new creatures –let’s just do it their way instead of the way I did before.” He mashed the pieces together, until they resembled a spiral ladder.
 
“…Right, their how-to-build-meat-information.”
 
“Grab some of Fluttershy’s, grab some of the birdcat’s, mash them together, cram into a cell. Let it grow, and voilá! Baby”
 
“I might have to try it a few times until I mash them together into a new infostring that works… but anything for Fluttershy!”
 
He popped out of existence.
 
 

 
 
A twang of pain in her stomach caused Fluttershy to startle out of sleep. She tensed –but it was over just as quickly as it had happened.
 
Opening her eyes to the moonlight streaming down on the bed through the window above her, she waited to see if there was more or if she could go back to sleep. Gilda’s breath came in soft snores beside her, as she gently spooned the griffon’s back. The sound might have annoyed other people, but Fluttershy was used to sleeping in a bed full of rabbits, cats, dogs, badgers, ferrets…. Animals tended to try and do things like sleeping on top of her face or drooling into her ears. Gilda was nothing compared to that.
 
She’d just about let the snoring lull her back to sleep, when she felt her partner twitch beside her.
 
“Are you okay?” She murmured sleepily, when Gilda didn’t settle down again after a few seconds.
 
The griffon turned around, and shifted a wing over Fluttershy. “Yeah. Just… stomach cramped for a little bit. Seems it’s over now though.”
 
“Hmm… mine too.” Fluttershy buried her face into the soft feathers on Gilda’s neck. “That’s odd.”
 
“Yeah…” Gilda yawned, and leaned down to bury her beak into Fluttershy’s mane. “Mighta’ been that new restaurant we tried…”
 
Fluttershy hummed in agreement, already half asleep. Neither noticed the invisible shape above them, which popped out of existence again as soon as they’d both settled. Discord had work to do.